Hi Everyone,
Retirement — one of those occasions where everyone congratulates you and adds comments of envy, etc. However, is this really reality? This is a topic which a few of my readers have recently been asking me about. Some have realised the “honeymoon around retirement” vanishes pretty quickly; others realise it brings a whole new dynamic into a relationship — one they never expected. Personally, I think it is like having children. You don’t really know just how strong your feelings of love will be for them until they are truly there. The same goes for retirement. You don’t truly know what it will be like until you are in the midst of it. One thing for certain though – there is no “I” in retirement.
So I began doing some research of my own and came across the super‑nice retirement coach Eric Lobsiger, who works in English, German and French. This article gives you a brief introduction to Eric himself, some key advice for people approaching retirement and last but not least a few tips for couples.
Keep reading to find out more about “The New “We” – Life After Retirement”
The New “We” – Life After Retirement
About Retirement Coach – Eric Lobsiger
Eric holds a Master’s degree in Systemic Solution‑Oriented Coaching (FHNW) and a Diploma of Advanced Studies in Systemic Supervision (BFH).
He has a background in successfully applying the systemic approach in leadership positions as well as in education and training formats within the health, school, and education sectors. When you book a service from www.fünfundsechzig.ch, you benefit from this personally.
Currently, Eric has been semi‑retired for three years and began planning his retirement two years before stepping back. He reflected on all aspects of retirement — whether he would continue working part‑time, his travel plans, and partnership considerations. He used the same systematic approach he recommends to his clients and is genuinely happy with the results. His coaching is also enriched with real‑life anecdotes, making it easier for clients to understand and apply helpful principles.
Key advice for people approaching retirement:
The number one piece of advice: live your dreams now. Don’t wait for retirement. Many people save everything for “later,” only to find that life — or health — has other plans.
It’s also important to realise that retirement isn’t a permanent holiday. The freedom feels wonderful at first, but it quickly loses its shine if there’s nothing meaningful to do.
About ten years before retiring, you should get your financial planning in order. Your bank representative or an independent financial adviser specialised in retirement planning is usually the easiest starting point.
Emotional preparation is just as important. Using one to two years before retirement to think through the transition can make a big difference. Consider whether partial retirement is possible in your field, explore hobbies, plan trips or projects, and reflect on what might give your life purpose in this new phase. Couples should also discuss how they want to live their “new we” together. These conversations are much easier to have before any tension arises, whether one partner is retiring or both.
Be prepared for your circle of friends to change. The daily contacts you had at work won’t be there anymore, so make sure you have friendships that will carry into your new chapter.
Think about what will give your days structure: part‑time work, a hobby you’ve always wanted to explore, or volunteer work. These things make retirement feel rich and fulfilling.
Tips for Couples
The key to maintaining a strong relationship through retirement is to talk, talk, talk. Keep the conversation respectful. If this is getting difficult try salami tactic – smile, or alternatively schedule discussions in the presence of a retirement coach such as Eric.
You also need to focus on what is truly important during retirement and for the remainder of your lives. Most people talk about chores, hobbies, budgets… but the real friction in retirement comes from:
1. Identity
Who am I now?
What gives me purpose?
How do I feel valuable?
If one partner loses their identity and tries to “borrow” the other’s, tension becomes inevitable.
Each partner should have a sense of personal purpose — something that makes them feel useful and fulfilled.
2. Emotional expectations
One partner imagines closeness.
The other imagines freedom.
One imagines shared routines or travel.
The other imagines personal projects.
Even in retirement, each partner needs a balance of shared time and independent space.
If these expectations aren’t spoken aloud, disappointment becomes resentment.
3. Social circles
When one partner retires, their world shrinks.
If they rely entirely on the other for stimulation, companionship, and meaning, the relationship becomes unbalanced and suffocating.
These three points are the real engine behind retirement harmony.
Retirement isn’t the end of life’s adventure — it’s a redesign. The more openly you talk, the smoother the redesign becomes.
Just like with any redesign — whether it’s a home, a garden, or a life chapter — bringing in a professional can make all the difference. Working with a retirement coach like Eric can transform a retirement from “difficult or okay” into one filled with purpose, new adventures, and genuine happiness.
Personalised advice in English, German or French.
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Hi dear Yvonne thank you for your blog and the advice for Retirement